


It's the biggest good taste vortex I've ever seen!

by DaiseeChain



Series: The 2005 B7 Badfic Collection [3]
Category: Blake's 7
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-09-27
Updated: 2005-09-27
Packaged: 2017-11-27 06:57:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/659163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaiseeChain/pseuds/DaiseeChain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Continuing the downward spiral of Season Badfic...</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's the biggest good taste vortex I've ever seen!

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted 27 Sept 2005.

The loneliness ate at his soul. He'd been here for days, and no one had yet spoken with him. Granted, trying to strangle the first few who’d approached him might not have been very tactful, but surely they were over that by now?

“Hi! I’m Jenna!”

Gan looked up. A short blonde perched on high heeled silver boots was casting a shadow over his bunk bed.

“Oh. Hello. I'm Gan.”

“Hi! I'm Jenna!” She swivelled her head in a movement designed to make her hair swirl.

“Um. Yes. You mentioned that.”

“Hi! I'm Jenna!”

Gan pulled as far away as his bunk bed would allow. Jenna beamed at him, batting her long lashes, a staccato of metallic blue eye shadow making him blink in automatic response. Another shadow fell on him.

“Don't mind her. She's just Jenna.”

“Er, yes. I believe she told me already.”

“I'm Vila. Pleased to make your acquaintance.” Vila held out his hand.

Hesitantly, Gan shook Vila's hand, remembering this time to resist the urge to strangle at random, then wiped the sweat and grime on his own trousers. Clearly Vila had not heard of soap.

“I'm in on petty theft. Me! Of all people. Nothing petty about me, is there Jenna?”

“Hi! I'm Jenna!”

“What you in for then?”

“Murder.”

“Ooh. That's a rough one. Still, you'll be handy in a fight I expect.’

“Not really. Limiter implant.”

“Oh. You're still pretty intimidating though. Could come in handy.” Vila sat himself down on the narrow mattress without waiting for an invitation.

“Thanks.” Gan shuffled up toward his pillow. “Um, I can't help noticing that you don't seem all that intimidated.”

“Who me? Naaah. Grew up on the lower levels. Takes a lot to scare me. Want to see a card trick?”

“Hi! I'm Jenna!”

Gan threw her a wary glance, but she didn't seem to be doing much. “You're good at cards?”

“World famous, I am! Well, on the lower levels of the dome anyway.” He pulled out a small stack of plastic octagons and began to shuffle. “Just keep your eye on this card right?”

Gan's eyes began to water as he watched Vila's hands blur.

“Hi! I'm Jenna!”

Gan leaned toward Vila and spoke quietly. “What's up with her?”

“Who? Jenna?” Vila looked up at her but didn't cease shuffling the deck. “The producers decided they didn't need strong female characters, so they had her brain replaced with a simpler version.”

Gan felt his eyes widen. “Why didn't they just give her fewer lines?”

“Contractual obligations. They have to give her so many lines per episode.” He chuckled. “But there wasn't anything about them having to make sense.”

“So… she's just going to stand at the helm looking vapid?”

“Well, I think they also programmed her to say “Look out Blake!” and simper a bit, but that's about the size of it, yeah.” He held up a card. “Was this the one you chose earlier?”

“Yes.” Gan lied. He was feeling slightly queasy.

Vila narrowed his eyes. “Don't you worry mate. You just stick with your old mate Vila. I'll take care of you.”

“Well that's a relief.”

“No bother.” Said Vila, failing to notice that Gan hadn't actually thanked him. “I always know how to pick the winning side. Like that fellow over there.” He nodded in the direction of another bunk.

“The burly fellow with the liquid brown eyes?”

“Yes. That's him. He's a winner. I can tell. Got a nose for these things, I have. Trust me, if we stick with him, we'll make it through this trip just fine.” Vila put his cards back in his pocket, along with a ration card Gan was sure hadn't been there a minute ago. He stood up, stretched and yawned, and put an arm round Jenna.

“Hi! I'm Jenna!”

“I know love, I know. Let's get you back to your bunk now, ok?” He turned her around and steered her away.

Gan's heart sank as he lay back down on the bed and stared at their prison ceiling. Six months to Cygnus Alpha with a bimbo and a petty thief as his only friends so far. Still, he supposed. It could have been worse.

A shadow fell over him again. “Hi!” It said. “I'm Avon! Will you be my friend?”


End file.
